I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
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