You're a womanizer and a bitch.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
