Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
