I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize