Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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