i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
