Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
