I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
In other news, I just burned my penis
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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