you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
