I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
