If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
