I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
