why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
