Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
are you so shy because you have an std?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
