She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
