i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
