does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
