You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
