new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
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