What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
