I bet he comes in French.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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