Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
