PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize
