so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This house was built for laser tag.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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