I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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