Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I got her a Nickelback box set.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
