can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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