D3 body, D1 cock
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
