I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
