He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The best revenge is premature balding
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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