rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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