I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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