it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
