someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
