You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
