i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
It's blow job season.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
