Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
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