Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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