once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
