Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
