She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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