I love black thongs
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
