Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
