ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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