wakey wakey hands off snakey
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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