Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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