she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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