i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Randomize
