I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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