your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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