too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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