I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
