Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
