Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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