haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
