His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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