Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
