The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
