bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
