I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
