Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
